Gap In The Fence

The weather’s horrendous, it’s the kind of weather where you go and get your bridge pierced rather than go to Tenby so that’s exactly what we’re gonna do, Bob’s in the shower atm, either he’s got severe shits from last night or he’s playing with himself, I’m inclined to think to latter…better cif the bath before I step into it….he’s probably thinking about Becca, the girl from last night, he always falls for the tattooed freaks, such a stereotype and he falls obsessively, I love him, it’s never dull.

Bob introduced a few of us to Sailor Jerry last night, he was a really nice guy, conversation flowed naturally and came in great quantities though I realised later that some of the things he said hurt my stomach.

Our garden fence has been obliterated and Bob and I have tried propping every possible item up against it to stop it from blowing over, you don’t realise how much of an inconvenience soaking wet weather and dog shit is until you try working in it.

I fancy watching a film later, can you suggest anything for me, tumblr? No I thought not.

Bob tells me his paedophilic love interest claims that ‘hangovers are for quitters’ and I whole heartedly agree, pass me the jager. Nope, it’s Round 2 down Wine street tonight and we’re gonna throw some shapes in Idols.

Maybe I should try and light a fart on fire later, I don’t actually know if it’s possible.

Bob has nice shoulders.

Crash.